Monday, February 18, 2008

Sugar is Sweet, But Not My Coffee

I was watching the TODAY show today - (Coincidence? You decide!) - and there was a segment about Howard Dinowitz. Howard Dinowitz used to weigh 388 pounds and looked like this. Now he weighs 170 and looks like this.

Now, I do not weigh 388 pounds. I don't, in fact, even weigh 170 pounds. But like most normal people, I tend to think I can stand to shed a few pounds. Particulary that "around the belly layer of fat" that glows bright red in those weight-loss pill commercials. Thankfully, mine has not reached the glowing stage.....yet.

Howard apparently used to gorge on tons of fatty foods during his after-work commute. Instead, Today Show Fitness Guru Joy Bauer suggested chewing on sugar-free gum in the car.

"I chew gum in the car," I thought to myself, as though I were providing the Voice-Over for my own thoguht process a la The Wonder Years, "and I'll be damned if it's not sugarfree!"

It was Dinowitz's assertion that in order to take control of our weight we must take control of our habits - bad or otherwise. So here I am, sitting down at Panera Bread in Laguna Hills to work on the internet (they don't give us any at our apartments), and I stop to think about what I normally put in my coffee - two packets of sugar and a good deal of milk/cream/or half-and-half. I decide to take control of this habit and instead of sugar, I bravely put in two packets of Splenda.

Look, I was one of those kids who ate sugar cubes. I love me some sugar and I have never trusted sugar substitues, mostly because, unlike sugar, you cannot lick your finger, stick it in a pile of sugar-substitute, lick it, and walk away fully satisfied. It cannot be done!

So here I was, putting Splenda in my coffee. And does it taste like processed, diet-coke flavored coffee? Yes. Do I feel better about myself for taking control of my habit and choosing something with less caloric effect on my body? I'm not sure.

Frankly, I just feel like the TODAY show has just micromanaged my life, and I'm slightly angry, but mostly embarassed.

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