It Never Rains in Southern California...

But baby when it does, it pours.

A page out of the actor/composer's diary.

Up for a great guest-star on BONES. Did really well at the audition and the callback, down to two people, and then lost it because they had to match mother and son characters and the other guy was a better match.

Then went in for a great part on GREEK, but of course that was silly because I leave town tomorrow and what did I expect would happen? Of course they want to have me read for director and producers...on friday.

Sigh.

Story of many people's lives, I suppose.

But on this rainy, cold, Los Angeles day, before I head home to snowy, wintery Wisconsin, I can't help but feel a little blue.

JOIN THE IMPACT

Act up.

One of the greatest powers in our democracy is civil disobedience.

If you care about YOUR human rights, act up.

This Saturday, November 15th, there is a nationwide protest against marriage discrimination.

Nation. Wide.

Every single state and Washington D.C. will be hosting protests.

This is not a religious fight. We are not protesting the practice of any religion in this country. We want you all to go to church, temple, mosque, what have you.

This is about civil rights.

Act up.

"As I've
Often stated,
It's intolerable
being tolerated."

Our Future Madame President

I'm sorry, can we please talk about how cute my niece is?

This is the future of the world, people!!

And if you ask me, the future looks pretty damn adorable!

Actor/Composer/Politician?

Back in July I revamped my effort to write more and stay on top of this blog. In doing that, I've unconsciously begun to shift my focus from Actor/Composer to Political Commentator. Watch out, Anderson Cooper!

Now look - I think it's the job of every American to be as up-to-date as possible when it comes to Politics. Politics shouldn't be the understanding of a few, but of all. It's OUR country...right? So I don't feel bad about commenting about Politics, but I do feel as though it has shifted my focus from things more important to my daily life.

Also in July I finally got a MacBook, which was great. But I haven't yet gotten the web programming software to continually update my personal website.

So I've decided to momentarily kill two birds with one stone. Except I don't condone killing animals for sport, so let's just say I plan to stun two birds with one stone. I'm going to report on my artistic, professional endeavors on my blog here and leave the political commentating to the experts - namely my good friend, Tony, who once wrote for his high school newspaper.

This all came about when my good friend Tim - who's getting married!...gee, getting married, I wonder what that would be like. Won't ever know unless you vote no on prop 8....

No! no...no political talk. Er...

So, I'm working on a show where I play a Canadian, and I often joke around about the accent, which sounds an awfully lot like Sarah Palin's....

Oops. There I go again.

Well, look I'll do my best to turnaround, get on the money, and keep it gay.

Hopefully it'll be a change we can all believe in.

A Lucky Kid

A beautiful wedding story.


Vote No on Prop 8.

Hey Baby

Check out this babe.

7 lbs. 4 oz.

Kaiya means a type of Spear in Australian,
and in Japanese it means forgiveness.
To me, it means niece.

Kaiya Jo Kraner, welcome to the world.

I already love you so much.

Friday, August 1st, 2008

Tomorrow is a big day.

My niece is due to arrive tomorrow. Tomorrow is "scheduled", as it were, to be her birth day.

My grandma, diagnosed a week ago with cancer, is scheduled to go into surgery tomorrow as well.

My job will end tomorrow, leaving me unemployed with currently no prospects of another job in sight - the first time in many years.

It goes without saying, I think, that my grandma concerns me the most right now.

Tomorrow is a big day.

I Feel The Earth Move...

On Tuesday, just before noon, I experienced something that I had been wanting to experience since I first set foot in southern California. Not a celebrity encounter, not face lift.

I experienced an earthquake. My very first one. Either that or I fell madly in love. But I'm pretty sure it was an earthquake.

I seriously used to wonder if it would ever happen, if perhaps the last one had happened without me and now the ground beneath Los Angeles would be forever motionless. People would sit next to me on benches and I'd think "Earthquake!" only to be disappointed. But then it happened. A 5.4.

To be sure, the name says it all. The earth quakes. It's really nothing more than that. But it is a completely eerie feeling to have the terra firma become terra squishy on its own.

I'm proud to say I did not freak out. I merely looked around, confused, wondering how all 50 of the people I was around were going to fit under the 7 or so door frames. No one else seemed to move. I always thought southern californians prepared for these things, the way I used to have tornado drills in grade school. I was at the piano at the time, and I thought for a brief instance I might crawl under there. It seemed safe enough. After about 6 or 7 seconds the earthquake stopped and we all moved outside, so I didn't have time to find out.

The thing that freaked me out the most, was that, when I got outside, I tried to text my loved ones to let them know I was okay - and to check on them. Of course, so was everyone within a 70 mile radius. And I suddenly remembered "Live Free or Die Hard" - anyone see that? - I felt like we were warned that this would happen - the minute we actually needed our technology in a life or death situation was the one minute it would fail us completely. I couldn't make a call or text anyone for about an hour or so after the quake.

And that's when I started to freak. What if it had been serious? What if I was indeed stuck beneath my piano? What if, after being trapped under the piano for over an hour before I could reach somebody, I developed a severe phobia of pianos and suddenly brought to an end my very livlihood!?

It's moments like these I fear my life doesn't really exist. It exsists only in microwaves or in a virtual world - like this blog for example - and when that crashes (and it will) I will remain a mere shadow of a person. And where will Bruce Willis be to save me? Yippie-kay-ay.

Back from the Dead

Whoa!! What happened? Where am I? er...where was I?

No, I did not die. Instead, I turned 24.

Let me tell you something, which will annoy the heck out of people who are older than me...
23 was rough.
Not the year I spent being 23. That was fine. Lots of great things. In fact, 24 is already off to bad a start compared to 23.
For some reason, I could NOT remember the number 23. People would ask how old I was and I would go blank. And not on purpose! I wondered if it was because it was an odd number and somehow odd numbers are harder to remember than even ones...I'm sure I made that up.

But anyway, now that I'm 24, I can easily recall many things.
Like, for example, the fact that I once had a blog called The Actor/Composer's Notebook.

And so, memory refreshed, I've decided to get back into some swing of things. Especially since there's soo much to write about. And also, I've decided to make 24 a year for my writing. Hopefully the 'actor' part of me won't go belly up as I focus my concentration slightly elsewhere.

We'll see. Hope you (whomever you are..) will stick around for the ride.

A Life Examined

Hello Blogosphere friends. Yes, that's right, I'm talking to all 3 of you.

Life has been crazy lately.
I finished a job out of town.
During which time I had to look for a new place to live.
During which time I also had to drive all over L.A. going to a myriad of auditions.
During which time I actually booked a job.
During which time I actually went to the wrong location and had to forfeit a job I very easily could have booked.

It can't be said I lead an uneventful life.
It's scary, it's insane, and then on the flip side it's incredibly rewarding and challenging and educational.

Someone recently said to me, "I could never be an actor. I really admire you guys."
And then the apparition disappeared.

No seriously, someone told me that. I looked at her like she was crazy. But then I thought about it a bit. As hard as my life gets (and anyone else's is just as hard if not harder) when everything works out and I get to be doing what I love to be doing, it's a very magical, lucky, and sweet event - I'm describing the situation here, not my acting ability...which is also magical and sweet, but anyway -

So I guess there is something admirable in that.
Unless I end up homeless in two weeks.
Then it's just crappy.

My apologies....

I just sat down and overheard a businesswoman on her cell phone telling someone on the other end that "I'm going to do whatever I can to get local, regional, and international coverage and if that offends you I'M SORRY!"

I knew she was a businesswoman because of her terse tone of voice and because of such business keywords as "coverage" and "whatever."

What struck me was the "I'm Sorry." I thought to myself, "She's not really sorry at all."

Apologizing is very hard. I'm not the best at it myself. But many times I have recognized the importance of putting my own pride on the line to say full out "I'm sorry. I was wrong."

So often we want to say "I'm sorry, but!" or the accusatory "I'm sorry that you feel this way." Those are false apologies. Ellen DeGeneres does a bit about that in one of her stand-up routines. The eye-rolling "SO-rry" that people pull out when someone was offended cuz they can't take a stupid joke.

Looking at the way our "politic news" people in this country offend different groups on a daily basis, maybe we should take stock and really consider the humbling effects of taking the time to truly apologies to those we hurt.

And if you disagree....SO-rry!

My New Buddy

I haven't met him yet. But he's cute, cuddly, and finally no longer looks like a small fuzzy pile of poop.

He's the newest addition to the Family (which contains 2 children and 6...count 'em 6! labrador retrievers. 5 chocolates, 1 yellow.). The sole survivor of a litter of 3 (sad, right? Nature sucks!)

And his name is Buddy.
Look at him vogue!

Wanderlust!

For my birthday last year, my friend Kelsey gave me a travel journal. At the time I hadn't planned any trip just yet. I promised myself that if I booked a certain job I would travel to Europe.

For the next three months, before I found out about the job, I experienced an intense case of Wanderlust (such a wonderful word.) I would plan imaginary trips and itineraries and go through all the steps of booking a flight except for that last one.

And then, in time, I booked the job and then the flight.

I've always considered myself a "burrower." That is to say that when I go to a place I tend to like to settle down and make it my own. My roommate has always been more of a traveler than me. But once you catch a bout of Wanderlust it seems to be chronic. And its truly a magical sensation. You begin to realize the enormity of the Earth, the seemingly infinite possibilities, and the idea of having a real adventure. Or I did, anyway.

And now, as I sit in a rehearsal room in Laguna Beach, I'm coming down with another bad case of Wanderlust. And I've just (nearly) booked a flight to Sydney, Ecuador, Italy, and Japan.

Sigh.

Kidding Around

It's hard being a kid.
I was a very young actor in Milwaukee.
Growing up, I worked with a lot of adult actors who would remain based in Milwaukee.
Always having set my sights on bigger things, I relocated to LA when I was 18.
Subsequently, Milwaukee has not allowed me to grow up past 18.
That is to say that many of the adults that I worked with when I was young still see me as being young. (I'm 23, I know, but I live and work on my own. If I wasn't a professional as a child, I certainly am now.)
And so it frustrates me to go back to Milwaukee and seek approval (cuz we all do) from the people that I, often, aspired to be like, and have them treat me like just some kid.
I want (I have ALWAYS wanted) to be their equal, their colleague, but they can't stop being my teachers, my elders, my superiors.
Eventually, it's time to stop going back.
I'm not getting anywhere.

Frankly, neither are they.

Love what you do

I'm in rehearsals right now for RED HERRING at the Laguna Playhouse. It's a silly play. But I had one of those "I love my life" moments. I'm almost two years out of school and I've managed to survive (sometimes even quite comfortably) as an artist in Los Angeles. My plays are being performed across the country, music that I've written (but never even heard) is being sung in other cities, and I get to do the one things I've loved doing since I was five years old - act...for a living, no less!

Basically, I'm lucky. And it's good to take stock of what's good in your life, even when you're still in rehearsals.